There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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