Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
