It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
