is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
