I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
