Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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