Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
