You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
