My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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