One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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