Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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