how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
