I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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