at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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