i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
