How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
