He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
