well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
