Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
