Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
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They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
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The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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