I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i think im in europe. pls send help
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
