Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize