is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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