Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize