So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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