He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
