jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
