come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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