Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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