Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
