Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
