My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
