i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
