Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
