i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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