alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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