I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
