There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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