Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
