I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
