Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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