Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
