Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
