Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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