Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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