You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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