Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize