Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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