Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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