I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize