Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
