i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
