Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
