wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
