when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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