dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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