your thong is hanging out like whoa
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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