Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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