I look better un-naked...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
