all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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