hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
