I'm going to jail i love you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
