If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
