Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
