dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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